Through out my life...it may surprise some...I was never really good a keeping friends...I moved a lot as a kid. So it was pointless. Until I moved to a school where no matter where you lived in the town...you could pick the school you wanted to go to, in that town. So...no matter how many times we moved...I stayed at one school for all 4 years! It was sooo great. And I made my closest friends there. I am still friends a with a handful, but I am not with one...and I miss him. He was a great friend. While I hung out with the "punk rockers"...he hung out with the normal folks...but for whatever reason...we had a friendship connection that was awesome. We never dated...it was just a friendship. And I adore that past.
A little about me....i never got along with other girls growing up, i was always friends with guys...I don't know why. But thats how I was. I was the girl the guys didn't want to date...but i was the girl the guys could hang out with. So, has I speak of the man....it was not a romantic thing...it was friendship.
The other day, I had a dream that all of my closest friends lived in the same neighborhood...including this friend. And all the sudden, I had to move to another area...and we couldn't be friends anymore...and in my dream i became so incredibly sad. Upon waking I found that I was crying. I was pretty much bawling.
Now, thanks to Facebook we found each other again....but its different. We are both married. Both have kids...both living our lives for our families. He is doing great, but regardless of the 20+ years that pass...I am still sad for that friendship. I miss it. Its not that i don't get that friendship from my spouse...its just different. When you saw someone as a brother...and that brother is no longer a part of your life....it hurts.
I guess in the time that past, I always thought we would be a part of each others lives again...neighbors...something. But I have realized in the two years since we found each other again....life goes on with out that friendship. So I am leaning on St. Jonathan today...as i see him living a wonderful life....as am I .... but just as different types of friends. Facebook friends. Not the best, but I will take what I can get to keep those memories close.
I am thankful for the friends that I have now...I have gotten over the "not being able to be friends with girls thing" and actually have a circle of friends that are girls and while we can get caddy sometimes...we are great friends. My best male friends are the ones i gave birth to, and the one I married.... =)